Challenge 1 - 3rr0r

[MadHatter]

CHALLENGE 1 - 3RR0R


Contestants were asked to make a brand new track that describes themselves and their life. Here is his submission:

3rr0r - "I Am 3rr0r"


They were then asked to improve their music pages, to be more appealing to their potential listeners and fans. Here are the sites he has submitted.

3rr0r - Official site http://3rr0n30.us/
3rr0r - Myspace http://www.myspace.com/3rr0rmc

He has also went the extra mile to provide you with the lyrics for his submission:

I Am 3rr0r, 3rr0r is me
So named in part due to the flaws that you see
I am 3rr0r, That’s who I am
Write code, brew beer, and record my jams
I am 3rr0r, embodyment of flaw
Couldn’t find the heat so I’m bringing it raw
I am 3rr0r, worse than your blue screen
Go running in terror, I am 3rr0r
—————–
—————–
Did I say terror, I meant cover your ears
Or I fear what you hear may bring you to tears
I am the microphone catastrophy but please hold your jeers
And if you want to show som love to me, please raise your beers
Because this nerdy zymergist is spittin his mist
So he wont bw dismissed, land at the bottom of the list
Drop velvet gloves, to show my iron fist
Even if I got he coders RSI in my wrist
The jist of my mission in front of the mic
Is to drop the kinds of rhymes that even I would like
To bump in the car with the windows down
Share the sound and please the ears of those hangin around
I stand stoic and humble, like the horse at troy
Then slay you when you sleep, this gift aint a toy
I’ll destroy anything that tries to get in my way
And deploy my flow of the thoughts to convey that
—————–
—————–
I Am 3rr0r, 3rr0r is me
So named in part due to the flaws that you see
I am 3rr0r, That’s who I am
Write code, brew beer, and record my jams
I am 3rr0r, embodiment of flaw
Couldn’t find my heat so I’m bringing it raw
I am 3rr0r, and my motives are true
Hat and Sunglass wearer, I am 3rr0r
—————–
—————–
Got the two greatest ladies in the world behind me
One call me her rock, the other calls me daddy
This family surounding me brings the smile you see
a Trinity: two as one, of that one there’s now three
Which I need; my support structure, my reason for living
We’ll raise the next gen to be both thoughtful and giving
With her fellow passengers on the spaceship: Earth
And to be spending her time on the things that it’s worth
While I rage against injustice, both real and percieved
I hope that my aggression’s not a trait that is recieved
By my little girl, she is a gift to the future
And like any parent, I want to give what’s best to her
So nose down, grind out 9-to-5s
This ain’t a game, There’s no multiple lives
No cheat codes, I gotta earn what I’m owed
So I keep writing code for the masses to load
—————–
—————–
I Am 3rr0r, error is me
So named in part due to the flaws you see
I am 3rr0r, That’s who I am
Write code, brew beer, and record my jams
I am 3rr0r, embodyment of flaw
Couldn’t find the heat so I’m bringing it raw
I am 3rr0r, though I’m not all wrong
A new standard bearer, I am 3rr0r
—————–
—————–
From a very young age, I like to take things apart.
That which some call science, has been to me always art
From the start of this nerds quest for understanding
But the more I leran more I know I don’t understand a damn thing
But that’s a motivater of intelectual drive
How do things work, what’s out there, why the hell are we alive?
And I strive to provide answers the universe hides
Until I find more questions, which serve to remind
That It’s about the ride and not the destination
so feel the vibration and may it lead to your elation.
Annexation of information by exploration and obvservation
will come to dissemination though my rhythmic oration
Seek my inspiration, in the world that surrounds
Perform a data-transformation to record it as sounds
Noting my interpretation as human knowledge compounds
Until the cold hand of time comes to strike us all down
—————–
—————–
I Am 3rr0r, 3rr0r is me
So named in part due to the flaws you see
I am 3rr0r That’s who I am
Write code, brew beer, and record my jams
I am 3rr0rembodyment of flaw
Couldn’t find the heat so I’m bringing it raw
I am 3rr0r, now the song has to end
But I persist forever, I am 3rr0r

Please add in your commentary and constructive criticism. The official voting poll will be posted here on this thread as soon as all entrants have submitted their activity for the first challenge.

VOTING DEADLINE: SUNDAY, AUGUST 23RD AT 11:59PM CST!

[Pops Ghostly]

First off, I'm not a fan of electric guitar hip hop beats...there are very few that I like. Just a personal preference. Don't get me wrong, I dig a lot of guitar music...but ya just not in hip-hop. The words are well written, and there are some good lines in there. You vocals are a bit low, and need to be louder. For the most part you are on time, but some lines seem forced or stretched to stay in time. Maybe missing a syllable or having one too many...that type thing. Overall not bad, but not a track I'd gravitate towards. I'd like hear your voice over something funkier IMO.

[benjamin bear]

OFFICIAL JUDGE COMMENTARY - BENJAMIN BEAR

EVALUATION OF YOUR CHALLENGE 1 TRACK

The instrumental: 5 The instrumental wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either. It was just kind of there.

Timing: 8 For the flow you were using, you were on time. More on this in a second.

Energy: 7 Energy was good, you didn't sound bored. If anything, I think you were overemoting.

Emotion: 6 I'm docking points not from a lack of emotion, but because I think you were trying to hard to sound like something specific, rather than just relaxing and trusting your song.

Musicality: 5 Average musicality. Again, not bad, but not great.

Creativeness: 2 I'm going to rip this apart in these next two categories. This song not only sounds like a song I've heard already, but your flow seems like it was directly lifted from a Beefy CD. In fact, you're ripping Beefy off pretty bad here.

Flow variety: 3 And because of that, I'm going to give you the same score for flow variety that I would give him. Hopefully on his next CD he'll switch it up a little bit.

Vocal quality: 5 You've got the average nerdcore production going here, which can work but usually doesn't. Your vocals are too loud for the beat, and there's no EQing of any kind going on so the whole song sounds less like a cohesive song, and more like just a beat with lyrics being played at the same time. There's a subtle difference, but it's the difference between amateur and professional.

Additional comments: It really seems like you're emulating things you like instead of being yourself. There's nothing wrong with having musical influences, but you don't need to be trapped by them, you should take out what you like, leave what you don't, and still put your own personality into it. You sound a lot like Beefy mixed with MC wreckshin on this track, and it's distracting.

Total Score (out of 10): 5


EVALUATION OF YOUR MUSIC SITE UPDATES

First impression without having to scroll or click through anything: I'm going to not grade the myspaces from now on unless that's my only option because they all look the same: like crap. That's more the fault of myspace and not the artist, and I don't even have a myspace. As for the official site: I get the blue screen of death reference. it's subtle but clever.

Graphical attractiveness: The color scheme and font is good, but there's no graphical branding that makes your site stand out. This could be a technology blog, a russian porn site, or an error message for all I know, there's not a whole lot up there that says "I'm a musician, and this is my website."

Cohesiveness: It's cohesive.

Amount of content: There's a fair bit of content, but you should really wrap everything up into one package, even if it's just a constantly updated .zip file that's never a real album. you can always release the extra tracks separately for the people who have a previous version of your music, and new listeners can just grab all of it at once.

Overall professionalism of the sites: It's professional looking, but it's "business professional" and not "creative professional," if that makes any sense.

Score: 6

[Lady L337]

OFFICIAL JUDGE COMMENTARY - KOURTNEY

EVALUATION OF YOUR CHALLENGE 1 TRACK

The instrumental: Agreeing with Bbear on this one. Wasn't good, wasn't bad. Just average.

Timing: You were on time for the beat you were using. Good job on that.

Energy: Good energy.

Emotion: Pretty good. I got this "I'm a hardcore rapper" sort of vibe, so maybe you should tone it down a bit?

Musicality: It was alright. Not terrible, but not great either.

Creativeness: I liked that you wrote about yourself and what you stand for. Mad props on that. You conveyed your image and I wholeheartedly believed it. Good lines, very creative content overall. However...

Flow variety: Totally stolen from Beefy. Also, I thought you were trying to sound like Captain Dan too. I've heard other music from you where you DON'T sound like either of them. I know you can change it up.

Vocal quality: Vocals were very hushed and weird sounding. I felt like they should've been a lot clearer. It sounds like you severely altered something.

Additional comments: It was okay. I like that you expressed yourself and everything that your about. You did exactly what the challenge asked for, as far as that goes. Kudos to that. You've done it the best so far out of everyone I've heard. But the rest of the track didn't do it for me. Again, I felt like I was hearing Beefy's flow mixed with Captain Dan's voice.

Score: 5/10


EVALUATION OF YOUR MUSIC SITE UPDATES

First impression without having to scroll or click through anything: I'm only going to grade myspaces from now on because the sites have been really lame and lacking information and content thus far.
Anyway, myspace. First impression: boooooring.

Graphical attractiveness: None.

Cohesiveness: Good, I guess.

Amount of content: Need more music. Influences section was good. Also, you should put up a bio/About me section. Blogs section was good too. Needs more pictures.

Overall professionalism of the sites: Fair.

[Hobosub]

Emotion: Pretty good. I got this "I'm a hardcore rapper" sort of vibe, so maybe you should tone it down a bit?

Funny, I got more of a "I'm here for the lols" vibe, maybe it's a good thing there's also a chick (no disrespect) judging

[Lady L337]

Emotion: Pretty good. I got this "I'm a hardcore rapper" sort of vibe, so maybe you should tone it down a bit?

Funny, I got more of a "I'm here for the lols" vibe, maybe it's a good thing there's also a chick (no disrespect) judging

I got that too.
I was just sayin...

[Laika]

OFFICIAL JUDGE COMMENTARY - LAIKA

EVALUATION OF YOUR CHALLENGE 1 TRACK

The instrumental: The instrumental fits the feel of the track, but it could definitely do with being cleaned up a bit.

Timing: You were on point throughout the song.

Energy: I liked it, the energy was there and it was good to hear it.

Emotion: I'm agreeing with Bear in that it seemed like you were stretching a bit to get the sound you were going for.

Musicality: You did a good job with the beat, accompanies the vocals pretty well.

Creativeness: It's the 3rr0r I've heard before. That isn't a bad thing, it's just not pushing into anything new.

Flow variety: Flow stays relatively the same throughout, no real big change.

Vocal quality: I thought the quality was fine, but I can barely hear parts of the chorus.

Additional comments: Like I said, It's an 3rr0r track. I like what you do but this somehow didn't feel true to that. This wasn't a disaster but it wasn't a masterpiece either.


EVALUATION OF YOUR MUSIC SITE UPDATES

First impression without having to scroll or click through anything: Like Bear said, Myspace pages tend to absolutely suck. Thing is, I don't actually hate yours. The blue-screen background is a tad monotonous, but for a Myspace page, not bad. I like the official site, easy to figure out and nice to look at.

Graphical attractiveness: Simple. Which means there isn't anything to detract from either site, but it also means there isn't a whole lot to grab someone.

Cohesiveness: Again, both are simple and effective.

Amount of content: It's a basic Myspace page. The official site doesn't bombard you with content, there's just enough there that if you click around you should be satisfied.

Overall professionalism of the sites: The Myspace is, again, a myspace page. The official site has got a good, clean, professional look to it. It could be developed a bit more to be more attention grabbing, but for what it is I like it.

[bazuukajoe]

First off, I'm not a fan of electric guitar hip hop beats...there are very few that I like. Just a personal preference. Don't get me wrong, I dig a lot of guitar music...but ya just not in hip-hop. The words are well written, and there are some good lines in there. You vocals are a bit low, and need to be louder. For the most part you are on time, but some lines seem forced or stretched to stay in time. Maybe missing a syllable or having one too many...that type thing. Overall not bad, but not a track I'd gravitate towards. I'd like hear your voice over something funkier IMO.

I actually love guitar, especially in hip-hop. Be it real guitar or VST. Respect you're opinion though!

[MadHatter]

Emotion: Pretty good. I got this "I'm a hardcore rapper" sort of vibe, so maybe you should tone it down a bit?

Funny, I got more of a "I'm here for the lols" vibe, maybe it's a good thing there's also a chick (no disrespect) judging

I got that too.
I was just sayin...

Let me translate for the drunken guy from the Netherlands: "Thank god there's a female here to show us weird guys what's up."

[Maros]

love the lul factor and the personal content!
your chorus is odd, with a few flaws but i actually like it. it can be pretty catchy.
And even the guitar in the track is an ear catcher, like it or not. (i like it)

[Deafinition]

OFFICIAL JUDGE COMMENTARY - DEAFINITION

EVALUATION OF YOUR CHALLENGE 1 TRACK

The instrumental:I... don't really know what to say about this. I feel the beat fit the first verse and the hook. I'll get back to what doesn't fit here in a second.

Timing:Time was decent for the most part but I did hear some rushed bars with way too many syllables. Make sure you write an amount your comfortable with spitting, don't overdo yourself.

Energy: I felt the energy which is good, I'm going to leave the complaint I have for this for later on.

Emotion: Same as above.

Musicality: Same as above minus that I think you could fill the bar spaces a little better. You're kind of all over the place actually, you always have either too many syllables or not enough syllables. Try and find that happy median.

Creativeness:Well... the hook was creative, and again... more on this in a second.

Flow variety:There was some change ups, but they went from bad to worse. And by that I mean the not enough to too many syllables. Just try to find that right amount, (it'll always be different depending on the BPM)

Vocal quality: It's a little metallic, tin to be exact. Might be the mic, try getting some better mixing in there.

Additional comments:Alright, now we can get back to what I was talking about. Nothing fits together in this song to me. The hook and first verse fit together along with the beat. The second and third verse fit together. But I failed to see the relevance between the first verse and the hook to the second and third verse. Basically you have hiphop/battle lyrics through one third of the song, then when the second verse jumps in you get more personal. I loved the personal lyrics, but the way you spit it and the beat you spit it over completely threw off the emotion I felt you were trying to convey. It sounds like two completely different songs slapped together. Please, someone tell me they know what I'm talking about because it's a quarter to 10 in the morning and I'm running on zero hour of sleep and starting to confuse myself the more I type. Having said that I'm going to leave the site evaluation on this one to the other judges.

[KingPheenix]

The second and third verse fit together. But I failed to see the relevance between the first verse and the hook to the second and third verse. Basically you have hiphop/battle lyrics through one third of the song, then when the second verse jumps in you get more personal. I loved the personal lyrics, but the way you spit it and the beat you spit it over completely threw off the emotion I felt you were trying to convey. It sounds like two completely different songs slapped together. Please, someone tell me they know what I'm talking about because it's a quarter to 10 in the morning and I'm running on zero hour of sleep and starting to confuse myself the more I type. .

I agree i love my boy 3rr0r, but this song goes through a lot of changes. kinda hard to stay followed.

[Chester]

CHESTER

EVALUATION OF YOUR CHALLENGE 1 TRACK

The instrumental: I'll have to agree with whomever wrote that you'd sound better over something a lil' funkier, and less overdrive on the guitars. This beat isn't bad though, I just think I'd like to hear something more... Funky, I guess. I'm having trouble finding the correct words, so bare with me.

Timing: Good as far as I can tell, but you have to stretch or speed up to make the words fit. It just didn't sound too organic.

Energy: Sounded good to me. Although when paired with this beat, the chorus could use a bit more.

Emotion: It sounded alright for the most part, but I think that what it sounded like you were conveying would've functioned better on a less "Hard-Rock" beat.

Musicality: <<<< I'm still trying to figure out what the hell this is supposed to mean when applied to nerdcore.

Creativeness: Nothing really jumped out at me either way on this, but I've never listen to "Beefy" so I can't comment on what others said.

Flow variety: Agree with Def on the syllables thang. I don't think there were many switch up besides that.

Vocal quality: It sounded a lil' "Tinny" as Def said, but nothing too bad.

Additional comments: The syllable thing makes me wonder if you wrote this before you had the beat, then tried to make it fit after the fact. I've sooo done that before, and it's no bueno. If you could ride the beat a bit more and make it sound natural you'll be golden.

EVALUATION OF YOUR MUSIC SITE UPDATES

First impression without having to scroll or click through anything: LOL, I liked it.

Graphical attractiveness: It burns the eyes, but that's Good, because it's funny. I think I've got a pavlovian thing going on with BSOD.

Cohesiveness: Indeed it is.

Amount of content: Add a pics section and it'll be enough for me.

Overall professionalism of the sites: A simple blog, but I'm not complaining.

Additional comments: I'd much rather a site be very simple, than over-the-top with bells and whistles. I liked it, just add a pics section!

[MadHatter]

Musicality: <<<< I'm still trying to figure out what the hell this is supposed to mean when applied to nerdcore.

Musicality is how well they use the beat to make the mood of the song match, how they switch it up when the beat switches, how they may change dynamics or attitudes at different parts of a ong.

[CutterJ]

[size=150]OFFICIAL JUDGE COMMENTARY - CUTTERJ/size]

EVALUATION OF YOUR CHALLENGE 1 TRACK

The instrumental: I liked the raw energy of your instrumental. It would benefit from some more mastering but the fundamentals are there. Potentially epic.

Timing: Solid, robotic delivery.

Energy: Good energy throughout sir! I could tell you meant what you said.

Emotion: It was cool to hear about your family and passions. I didn't ever perceive you putting up the tired old rapper's facade.

Musicality: I felt your vocal delivery matched the track well. It reminded me of Michael Jackson once he turned into a robot in the Moonwalker film for some reason.

Creativeness: While sometimes the words felt a bit cheesy, it was refreshing to hear someone rap about what's important to them (family, science, etc) instead of just making general boasts that don't really mean anything. You completed the assignment and I felt I got a good feel for who you really are on this one.

Flow variety: Very basic- I'd like to hear just a little bit more in this department on the next one.

Vocal quality: Clear diction- no lyric sheet necessary. Well done!

Additional comments: I thought there was a wonderful synthesis of rapper persona and real life on this track. Good job!


EVALUATION OF YOUR MUSIC SITE UPDATES

First impression without having to scroll or click through anything: That bright blue is a little hard on the eyes, but I happened to be wearing shades the first time I looked at it.

Graphical attractiveness: Fine.

Cohesiveness: Easily navigated.

Amount of content: Appropriate.

Overall professionalism of the sites: Fair

[hipsterplease]

OFFICIAL JUDGE COMMENTARY – Z.

EVALUATION OF YOUR CHALLENGE 1 TRACK

The instrumental: Not crazy about the beat.

Timing: Kind of a turtle-paced flow, but you stuck to it!

Energy: Low. Sounds a little distant.

Emotion: Also kinda iffy. I hear a spark in there, like the words really mean something to you, but things still come through a little thin.

Musicality: Average. It's a similar sound to, say, Billy the Fridge, but it lacks his level of snark.

Creativeness: Points for keeping things personal, but not much for the actually delivery. It certainly wasn't bad, it just didn't blow me away.

Flow variety: Not as such, but you stay on beat which is good.

Vocal quality: Poor. I don't like the compression/filter you have on the vox. It makes the joint sound robotic. Artificial. Which negatively impacts the emotional relevance.

Additional comments: It's okay. I'm not gonna tear it apart, but I also can't see myself jamming to it outside the contest.


EVALUATION OF YOUR MUSIC SITE UPDATES

First impression without having to scroll or click through anything: Both are plain. Very plain.

Graphical attractiveness: None applicable? Where are the graphics?

Cohesiveness: Gotta give credit where it's due; blue and white as far as they eye can see. :)

Amount of content: Acceptable, but pretty bare bones.

Overall professionalism of the sites: Again, acceptable, but there's no flare.

Additional comments: Like the song, it was okay and shows an interest in yourself as an artist, but there's nothing that really sets it apart.

[Dr.Awkward]

OFFICIAL JUDGE COMMENTARY - AWKWARD

EVALUATION OF YOUR CHALLENGE 1 TRACK

The instrumental: I liked it actually, especially the guitar, nice choice.

Timing: Your timing was alright, I would've liked to see it tighter do to how slow you were flowing but it wasn't horrible

Energy: You had it man, especially on the Hook (WHICH I LOVED)

Emotion: Felt it, especially on the verse about your family, that was awesome to hear personal stuff

Musicality: My main compliment is the hook, it was well put together and the I am 3rr0r just worked

Creativeness: Nothing blew me away in the creativity department but I loved the unusual words (ie zymergist)

Flow variety: Not much hear and that is my major complaint

Vocal quality: Also mixed pretty poorly, I'd like to hear you clean this song up personally, cause I was feeling it

Additional comments: Thank You for doing the assignment!!!! I feel like I know a good deal about you now. THUMBS UP! You remember the people you know.

[MadHatter]

I FUCKING SHIT YOU NOT.

I WAS REVIEWING YOUR TRACK. AS I WAS FINISHING THE LAST ANSWER, I GOT A FUCKING BLUE SCREEN ERROR.

And it was like this, too - "I AM ERROR, RUN IN TERROR." *beep beep beep beep beep*

Shel and I just laughed for, like, five minutes. It's like you have a superhuman ability you're not telling us about.

And I apologize, but I spend a good 20 minutes in the very least reviewing these tracks, and I just can't bring myself to start all over again. But I WILL give you the cliff notes:

The track: Krhymestar's beat is dope, but needed the drums to hit WAY harder to match with the raw vibe of this song to drive it along. Your timing was good, but a bit sticky in parts. Better than I remember, though. The emotion was there, but I felt the majority of the energy got stuck in your throat while trying to rap like you do... Although there was still a good amount of energy. I HATED the effects on the vocals, it made you sound like a horrorcore rapper stuck in a grain elevator full of Christmas ornaments. I would have much rahter heard your vocals in a natural recorded sound. I think it would have made the track MUCH more enjoyable. Also, it would have made it more understandable. Good creativity, I liked yourlines, very rough and straightforward. Would've loved to learn more about you in the time verse 1 and 2 spent, though. 3 was the best.

The site: It looks just like a blue screen of death, bravo. It's actually twice as funny now, too. Haha. The novelty is perfect for you, but will it give your fans what they need content-wise, or will they get pissed and head out? Maybe try to find a way of doing a site that has normal working content, but feature a console screen on every page that is errored out or something? I dunno.

Sorry about the short review, man. But fuck... you get extra bonus points for the epicness of actually causing an error with your track. It's like a fucking magic missle hit my hard drive... Only the second blue screen I've ever had on it, too...

[CutterJ]

Amazing! Haha!

[NerdRockstar]

OFFICIAL JUDGE COMMENTARY - JASON ROCKSTAR

EVALUATION OF YOUR CHALLENGE 1 TRACK

The instrumental: Is weak. Sort of phoned in.

Timing: For what you have here, timing was pretty good.

Energy: I wasn't sure that you wanted to be at the mic. Like maybe there was a con going on that you needed to get to.

Emotion: Pretty low key.

Musicality: This whole song is pretty discombobulated. Nothing really seems to fit with anything else.

Creativeness: meh.

Flow variety: I think you went the other way on this one. I saw some sparks in your other stuff. Didn't feel like this was a step in the right direction.

Vocal quality: low

Additional comments:


EVALUATION OF YOUR MUSIC SITE UPDATES

First impression without having to scroll or click through anything: Are you old enough to remember the TERMINATE dialer. This was like throw back for me. I like it.

Graphical attractiveness: I think I got what you were going for immediately. It resonated with me. I like it.

Cohesiveness: well done.

Amount of content: good

Overall professionalism of the sites: I like it.

Additional comments: maybe a couple of ASCII graphics?