Challenge 1 - Pops Ghostly

[MadHatter]

CHALLENGE 1 - POPS GHOSTLY


Contestants were asked to make a brand new track that describes themselves and their life. Here is his submission:

Pops Ghostly - "The Synopsis"


They were then asked to improve their music pages, to be more appealing to their potential listeners and fans. Here are the sites he has submitted.

Pops Ghostly - Myspace http://myspace.com/gopopsghostly
Pops Ghostly - Official blog http://popsghostly.wordpress.com/

He has also went the extra mile to provide you with the lyrics for his submission:

// VERSE 1 //
it aint uncommon that I’m bombing
shrapnel shred ya to rags,
no doubt frag out
you can blame it on the lag
im the land shark rolling
wheels spinning up sparks
helter skelter face melter
like you opened the Arc
red faction call to action
beneath a flat brim I’m laughing
slap the mic out your hand
just to see your reaction
Wolfenstien 3D ya I’m packing the Gatling
Ass smacking your girl
she got an instant attraction
To the way I serenade
pull the pin on 8 Grenades
suicide bomber ya’ll goners
bring the drama to your face
it’s an arms race, my arms shake
get bong baked, lazy days away
ya I’m rolling a 6 pape
do raps great, I spit it iller then ya’ll
to date: your raps were a waste
on a total recall
and you can talk shit till your face turns violet
so high nose dive kamikaze pilot

// VERSE 2 //
check my wireless range
I got a signal that’ll never fade
Slain haters laid
in the beds that they made
nothings changed but the game
when this track is played
roll up like an escalade and
smoke you like A grade
Your tanks bang blanks
Out ranked I roll Sherman
Get Flanked
Serve a sermon to you vermin
Peep the synopsis;
With hip-hop I pop wigs
Rhyme blast rockets
And you eject the cockpits
Top Gun son
You can call me Maverick
Bring static to your fabric
When I blast the automatic
Predator steeze
Camouflaged in the trees
Shoulder canon banging
Leaves your blood on the leaves
Pops G,
Grip the mic, Like a vice
rip it right every night
spit it tight bright nikes
Hit the lights
Roll the sess, pass it left
NES Simon’s quest
I’m the best you’re a mess
get aped bang your chest

Please add in your commentary and constructive criticism. The official voting poll will be posted here on this thread as soon as all entrants have submitted their activity for the first challenge.

VOTING DEADLINE: SUNDAY, AUGUST 23RD AT 11:59PM CST!

[bazuukajoe]

Wow, there is a lot of great talent in this competition... This should be interesting. I think you're one of the best. Right now, It's you, Maros, and MC Diabeats in my top 3. Oh and King Pheneex is tight too. Damn you guys are killin' it!

[Hobosub]

Wow, there is a lot of great talent in this competition... This should be interesting. I think you're one of the best. Right now, It's you, Maros, and MC Diabeats in my top 3. Oh and King Pheneex is tight too. Damn you guys are killin' it!

Same here, but Pops does have the best picture here :)

[MadHatter]

OFFICIAL JUDGE COMMENTARY - MADHATTER

EVALUATION OF YOUR CHALLENGE 1 TRACK

The instrumental: Traditional Hip Hop beat, nothing fancy, kind of a battle feel... Let's hope he rides on it like a pro!

Timing: While mostly on point, there are a few slip-ups here. But nothing bad at all.

Energy: Yeahhh, man! This cat is ready to play! This dude's got Hip Hop in his veins, he loves it.

Emotion: Read the above comment, you seem ready to go and have some confidence, but I think you can turn up the dial a bit. I don't think we're quite getting the FULL you, at least I'm not. Bring it bigger!

Musicality: Yup yup! You did indeed ride this one out. When you have such a classic type beat, you really have to make it yours and break the monotony with your cadences, punchlines, and word play. You did indeed do all of this for me, awesome job, man.

Creativeness: Oh, for certain. I think you actually just set the bar as far as creative lines go. There were several references to grab in the rhymes, and I got them all. Collected 'em like Pokemon, man. It helps that it was a lot of stuff I was into as well, haha. If we could only all be rap Predators. Hunting down weak emcees every summer, amirite?

Flow variety: There's a few switch-ups, but your flow is already a good mix, so this is all great right here.

Vocal quality: My only real gripe, the vocals are a little quiet and sound slightly muffled. What kind of mic are you working with? If these had been louder, it would have made a bigger impact. At least I can hear them, though.

Additional comments: Very solid little track, man. I was excited to hear some new stuff from you, and I'm glad you made it into the competition. You've got what it takes, for sure, Pops. But I DO have ONE problem...

This track was supposed to focus on you and what makes you tick, it feels more like a battle track or just a flex of your skills. I'm not sure if this will have an impact on the judge's decisions, but it's something they will definitely consider.


EVALUATION OF YOUR MUSIC SITE UPDATES

First impression without having to scroll or click through anything: Your MySpace? It's the first splash image I've liked! It's not too big, so you can still see the start of the page below. I find this both excellent and smart. The color scheme looks fantastic already, everything matches - funny enough, even the MySpace ad in rotation at this second. Hold on a sec, I think that's weird and funny enough to paste:

Graphical attractiveness: Your MySpace? Hot. This is a gorgeous looking page, man. Everything's nice, simple, pleasing, purty, and squared-up. Great job. Love the default pic, it's crazy. And not goofy-crazy like the Sasquatch picture I last remember, hahaha (oh I see, that pic doesn't even exist anymore, nice). Could use some more graphics, but the ones you have are crystal crisp. Cookie crisp. Ca-hooooooooo-kie crisp. Sorry, I'll stop now. Your blog? KUDOS FOR MATCHING LAYOUTS. Seriously, I dig that. Once again, sharp visuals, great colors. Gorgeous. I rarely see a Wordpress layout I like, but this one's clean and fresh. And check it, a Twitter feed without having to scroll. Killer.

Cohesiveness: Myspace? Music, blog, pics, check. All makes sense to me. Nothing really here explaining you and what you do, though. Your blog? All makes sense for a blog. There's a little how-do-ya-do as well as a current news snippet (the fuck is this about a Scrub Club tournament? I didn't hear about this!), and that Twitter feed. Everything works together very well.

Amount of content: Myspace? Not much. There's not even a bio! Not much info to find in the left side sections either. Very scant amount of pictures, even fewer that actually show us the real you. No extras. More would really be nice for your fans, bro. Your blog? Well... for a blog, it's a great setup. Some more links out to your other site would be cool, though. Keep up that blogging, no doubt.

Overall professionalism of the sites: Myspace? 6 out of 10. Nothing flashy, but nothing offensive to the eyes at all. Would have been 8 out of 10 if there was a bio. Blog? 7 out of 10, only because there's not many updates yet, so there's not much to do. But a great, great start.

Additional comments: Digging the effort you put in, man! You're one of the top improvement makers in this part of the challenge. We appreciate and respect that effort!

[Da Silky Slimz]

We likey Ghostly.

[benjamin bear]

OFFICIAL JUDGE COMMENTARY - BENJAMIN BEAR

EVALUATION OF YOUR CHALLENGE 1 TRACK

The instrumental: 6 Hip-hop beat with horn stabs. Check.

Timing: 8 Nice. you're on beat, I noticed a few places where some different inflection or timing would have made the line work a lot better, but overall timing was good.

Energy: 7 I could feel the energy and it got me into the song, I can imagine it would be a pretty hype live track.

Emotion: 7 Wait a minute, aren't emotion and energy kind of the same thing?

Musicality: 6 The musicality is there, you rode the beat pretty well, but the beat itself is pretty standard.

Creativeness: 6 Some of your lines were pretty creative, but again, I've heard a song like this. Maybe it's more the fault of the genre :)

Flow variety: 9 You switched it up noticeably and still made it work. good job.

Vocal quality: 8 There's a pocket of perfection that a vocal falls into when a song is finished. Your vocals were very near that point, but i think it was still a few volume and eq adjustments away. Also, if you double everything, the doubling loses its impact.

Additional comments: Honestly, this was a pretty good song, I think you could really benefit from a good producer. Thank you for observing my 15 second rule. :) The sample at the end though, it was kind of confusing and I think you could have left it out.

Total Score: 7

EVALUATION OF YOUR MUSIC SITE UPDATES

First impression without having to scroll or click through anything: I like it, it's easy to read, it looks cool, but there's no clear area to listen to your music.

Graphical attractiveness: Smooth. Probably the best looking site I've seen in the competition thus far.

Amount of content: If you had a place on your blog for music downloads, or even just a clear link to your myspace, it would be awesome.

Overall professionalism of the sites: This honestly looks pretty pro.

Additional comments: When designing a website about you as an artist, it's ok to go all out with the ego trip, because people who are really into you are going to appreciate that. Take photos. Post videos. Write about random things. It's only lame when you do that in a non-artistic fashion. Idk, it's a weird line. Just go about it as if you're going to have obsessive groupies one day who are going to want to know everything about you.

Score: 7

[Britsy]

Well done. I'm liking this song.

[Deafinition]

OFFICIAL JUDGE COMMENTARY - DEAFINITION

EVALUATION OF YOUR CHALLENGE 1 TRACK

The instrumental:Wish I had found this beat first, that is all.

Timing:Sounds pretty good to me. I might have to listen again to find those very few slip ups, which means they weren't that noticeable, but still there.

Energy:Love the smooth feel to your voice, kind of reminds me of mine in a way. Keep it up.

Emotion: Not lacking, but this is a battle track, not much to get emotional about.

Musicality:Good mutlis, nice flow, sounds good. I'm still a little annoyed at the amount of battle tracks that I'm hearing in this challenge though.

Creativeness: Typical battle track, but at least it was a good typical battle track.

Flow variety: It sounded pretty constant throughout the whole thing to me, but the cadence was impressive enough that I didn't really mind.

Vocal quality: Well, I can hear you, and that's a plus.

Additional comments: Again, much like a lot of the others, I've learned nothing about you. This song doesn't tell me who you are, what you are about, or why you write what you write. The song as a whole is a great song, just not what I was wanting to hear for this specific challenge.


EVALUATION OF YOUR MUSIC SITE UPDATES

First impression without having to scroll or click through anything:It's plain but not boring. Love the splash a lot, the background and font contrast makes it easy to read. Well done.

Graphical attractiveness: It's a pretty simple concept but it get's right to the point. The first thing I see on the page is who I came to listen to, and that's all I want to know.

Cohesiveness:The colors work well together, I don't mind darker feel to the colors, it's a pretty laid back page.

Amount of content:Not cluttered. A+

Overall professionalism of the sites:Like I said, the only real pro part is the splash, everything else is generic, but that's okay for a myspace page.

Additional comments: Not much to see here, but for a myspace page, I'm not here to look, I'm here to listen.

[Lady L337]

OFFICIAL JUDGE COMMENTARY - KOURTNEY

EVALUATION OF YOUR CHALLENGE 1 TRACK

The instrumental: "Hip-hop beat with horn stabs. Check" My thoughts exactly.

Timing: Very good on timing. You stayed on beat throughout the entire track.

Energy: Pretty good energy. I was feeling it.

Emotion: Decent, but I would've put a little more variation into it.

Musicality: Pretty standard all around. You flowed with the song really well. I think you've got potential to be a top notch rapper, my friend.

Creativeness: Didn't really see anything creative from this, sorry.

Flow variety: Really good. I like that you switched it up, and it worked.

Vocal quality: Great. You're voice was great, very solid all the way through.

Additional comments: Wack intro, I'd cut it if I were you. Also, I really don't feel as if I know what Pops Ghostly is about, even after listening to this track. It seemed more like a battle track than anything else.

Total Score: 7/10

EVALUATION OF YOUR MUSIC SITE UPDATES

First impression without having to scroll or click through anything: Simple. I like.

Graphical attractiveness: Really diggin' the logo at the top of the myspace. I like the color scheme and the layout.

Amount of content: You need more info about yourself on the myspace. "Hi I'm Pops Ghostly" doesn't do it for me. I still want to know more about you :)

Overall professionalism of the sites: Decent.

Additional comments: Overall pretty good, I just feel like the myspace needs some more content. Photos, videos, information.. something. The music you have up is great, though.

Score: 7

[OsolocoAZ]

This track is sweet.

[CutterJ]

OFFICIAL JUDGE COMMENTARY - CUTTERJ

EVALUATION OF YOUR CHALLENGE 1 TRACK

The instrumental: Not the most original beat ever, but I'm a sucker for those drums. :-)

Timing: Overall pretty solid. A few spots need attention though.

Energy: Your lyrics talk pretty big but the energy doesn't quite back up the boasts. Kick it up!

Emotion: I agree with Deaf about there not being much to be emotional about.

Musicality: A beat like this should launch the words straight through the skull but it seems that the words get lost in the mix.

Creativeness: The lyrics on this track make very general claims, i.e. "check my wireless range I got a signal that’ll never fade" but I got no sense of who you are or what you actually have to contribute to the game from this. More creativity is needed.

Flow variety: Acceptable.

Vocal quality: A bit dull. More energy please!




EVALUATION OF YOUR MUSIC SITE UPDATES

First impression without having to scroll or click through anything: Really good looking Myspace! Super fresh looking blog too!

Graphical attractiveness: Excellent!

Cohesiveness: A+

Amount of content: Appropriate

Overall professionalism of the sites: Outstanding

[Maros]

Pops, you have been one of the ones i feared the most in this contest.

I knew you would come with a good track and you did, but i thought you would bring something a little different.
And i looked forward to hearing a more personal track from you and feel kinda gypped.
But gripes aside, you put out a good track that i can listen to a few times and nod my head to.
And your skills are well showcased! I'm looking forward to your next track!

[Chester]

CHESTER

EVALUATION OF YOUR CHALLENGE 1 TRACK

The instrumental: I liked it! It may have been done before, but I'm still lovin' it.

Timing: For the most part it was quite bueno. There's a couple spots and dubs that were off, but nothing to kick my ears off the track.

Energy: I liked the energy that you did bring. Now, here's the thing: Either your style is a lil' laid back, or you can up the energy a bit. Both are fine though.

Emotion: See above.

Musicality: I liked the "No Chorus" style, with some instrumental to break it up.

Creativeness: I have to agree with J here in that I really didn't get a feel for who you are. I did like the lines alot though, and the references were golden. Lol @ Kabuto reference.

Flow variety: I didn't notice many switchups, but the cadence more than made up for it. Quite Ill son.

Vocal quality: Sounded good to me.

Additional comments: Your style is Remiscent of KTP himself. Don't be afraid to throw a lil' bit more of yourself out there to make it your own. Definitely a contender here.


EVALUATION OF YOUR MUSIC SITE UPDATES

I'd like to note that I pulled a BBear awhile back and chose not to review myspaces if there are other options given.

First impression without having to scroll or click through anything: Simple, and that's not a bad thing

Graphical attractiveness:See above

Cohesiveness:It is.

Amount of content: It's a blog, straight forward.

Overall professionalism of the sites: Blog looked pro.

Additional comments: If you could combine the blog and the content from the myspace I'd be happier. Especially if it was still as simple as the blog, with lil' side bar links to all of the content.
Site overall is a pass.

[cupcake]

unlike the judges, i've loved this beat from the first time i heard it on fishscale, it makes me SO EXCITED. but i'm really missing a SUPER CATCHY hook.

[Pops Ghostly]

Thanks so much to everyone how listened and commented, and especially to the judges! Really appreciate the feed back and comments.

I have to admit that this track was more of a battle style and did not really offer much insight into who I am as a person / rapper etc. I realized that after I had written most of it, and at that point there was no turning back.

I agree that the intro kinda sucks, and I honestly hate doing those intro and outro pieces. I'd much rather just have a sample or something...but it's all a part of the game and I'm trying to get more comfortable with doing it...so that is the result. Sundials are a good way to know what time it is though. The sample at the end for whoever didn't understand or thought it was pointless...it was from Predator. Didn't really hold reference, except for the line "I got predator steeze..." etc. but it did make the song OVER 2 min...as was required.

As for the KTP reference, I put that in simply because I had actually wrote part of that verse previously a few months back ... not long after I wrote it, I heard Kabuto's "twitter rap" and was like "what the what?" because he uses a very similar line "spit a sermon to your vermin"
I wanted to use the line I wrote, but avoid people thinking that I jacked it from him so I layered it in over top.

Again, thanks for the comments everyone!! Look forward to reading the rest of the judges votes!

peace, pops.

ps: sorry you feel gypped Maros...I'll make it up to you homie.

[southside]

good stuff! tight....

[hipsterplease]

OFFICIAL JUDGE COMMENTARY – Z.

EVALUATION OF YOUR CHALLENGE 1 TRACK

The instrumental: Nice dynamic hip-hop beat.

Timing: Good. Very good. There are some slips, but also some recoveries.

Energy: Great energy. Infectious even.

Emotion: I feel the energy but not the heart. Do you need both? Not necessarily.

Musicality: A fun ride all around. Good beat. Good delivery. Good times.

Creativeness: A nice bout of braggadocios gamer rap. Not sure how that plays into the assigned theme, though.

Flow variety: Good variation, but you still manage to land on your feet.

Vocal quality: Lots of doubling, but it's well done.

Additional comments: Good track. Especially for a DIY joint.


EVALUATION OF YOUR MUSIC SITE UPDATES

First impression without having to scroll or click through anything: Good header branding. I know what I'm looking at, which is the all-important first step.

Graphical attractiveness: Good. Kind of a Edwardian feel with some hints of horror-goth.

Cohesiveness: You color-match on the Wordpress site is a bit off, but other than that shit looks consistent.

Amount of content: Light on both fronts.

Overall professionalism of the sites: Fair. Content is slim, but presentation is proper.

Additional comments: More pics. More biographical info. More money. More problems. Moe Howard.

[Dr.Awkward]

OFFICIAL JUDGE COMMENTARY - Dr. Awkward

EVALUATION OF YOUR CHALLENGE 1 TRACK

The instrumental: The instrumental was smooth, immediately sounded like something Buto would spit on

Timing: Timing was pretty on point, I enjoyed the flow over the beat

Energy: Right energy for the flow a little laid back, I dug it.

Emotion: Lacking. Although this track seemed straight brag/battle so I guess you would have too much emotion.

Musicality: Seemed to hit right, I liked the KTP line as a dub as well, that was a cool touch

Creativeness: My problem here is that after hearing this track I still have no idea what you're about, for a track that was meant to inform us, it fell short.

Flow variety: I didn't hear too much variety, but the flow you chose kept me into it

Vocal quality: Vocal quality was nice, I personally liked the sonic quality. However a few dubs were off, and that drives me nuts.

Additional comments: The track sounded a little like KTP sans growl, and while I love KTP, I'd like to hear something different out of you. And if you make it into later rounds, I would like to find out a little more what you are all about.


EVALUATION OF YOUR MUSIC SITE UPDATES

First impression without having to scroll or click through anything: Like the splash creen, very cleen, I like the straightforward colors

Graphical attractiveness: Yes

Cohesiveness: I love the color scheme, it all really works

Amount of content: Some nice content would like to see some more pics thoughq

Overall professionalism of the sites: One of the best, if not the best site I've seen.

Additional comments: Need music on the blog page

[3rr0r]

Yay for rap-sheets! Is this whole thing doubled on the vox? I'm pretty sure you're strong enough to not need that. One or two timing stumbles, but they're small. I could have done w/o /2 of the intro as well as the sample at the end, but I don't know if you'd have made 2 minutes w/o them. Overall it's solid, but a little more swagger and less personal than I had hoped (I feel this way about a lot of the tracks this round). Props for tossing out 'standard' song structure and just rapping. Like a few others, a really simple beat like this requires good mic presence/timing/confidence, all of which I am happy with here.
Website: Yay! Not a myspace! Nice art, coherent, easy-on-the-eyes theme. Needs more content (music section, bio, etc.). Curse you for reminding me again I forgot to add a twitter widget.

Also: I'm surprised you didn't pull in more votes for immunity, you're certainly ready to mix it up in this game.